The Oneshots don't
by Kayotics
Summary: this is a self insert, don't read it, it's bad.
1. Christmas

These one shots are going to be done in first person, in Kay's view. These happen between the second and third fanfics of their series, namely between _What the Hell is Going On!_ and _Return of the Psychic Freaks!_.

* * *

**Christmas**

"Hey guys!" I said as I popped up on the other side of the chest, looking around to see everyone sitting around a fire in Kaede's hut. InuYasha, Kagome, Shippo, Miroku, Sango, Kohaku and Kirara all looked up to see me carrying my huge sack and Michelle standing next to me, looking uncomfortable with all these eyes on her. Charlie hopped out of the chest and curled up next to Shippo, who liked to pet him.

"What's with the sack?" InuYasha asked me.

"Well, today, in our world, is Christmas, Yasha!" I answered brightly, stepping out of the chest and looking around.

"What's Christmas?" Shippo asked.

"It is a holliday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, but it is mainly a holiday where you give and recieve presents from people. It is my favorite holiday!" I said, sitting next to InuYasha and digging through my sack.

"Yeah, it's real fun to get presents. It isn't as much fun when your friends _forget_ your present, though," Michelle growled, looking at me the whole time and emphisizing the word 'forget'. I smiled.

"I didn't forget, Michelle my bell. I just wanted to make you suffer! I would rather had you forget my present than give me one of your used stuffed animals," I replied, digging around my sack and giving Michelle a small wrapped present.

She opened it quickly and smiled. "The next Fruits Basket! Thanks!" Michelle sat down and started to read the translated manga, and I dug around my bag for presents.

I took one out and gave it to Kagome, and she opened it slowly. "Oh! A notebook! And a pen!"

"I saw how much you use your notebook lately, so I figured you could use one of those four subject notebooks," I said, smiling brightly. I walked over to Sango after taking the next gift out and then gave her a brightly wrapped present. She opened it carefully, much like Kagome, and she smiled when she saw it. It was a weapon polisher kit and some pop. She really liked the Coke, so that's what I got her.

"Thank you, Kay. I appreciate it," Sango said, nodding her head.

"Your welcome!" I said, and I dug around my bag again. "Next is... Shippo!" I walked over to him and gave him his present.

He opened it excitedly and saw that it was a Snickers bar, a Milky Way bar, and a Hershey bar. But there was other stuff there too. There was some toys for him to play with too. "Neat!" Shippo said, opening his candy. "Just wondering, why do you never bring along Pocky?"

"What's pocky?" Michelle asked, having gotten distracted from her book for a second.

"It's some sort of fruit treat... We don't have pocky where we live," I said, thinking hard for a second.

I got the next present out and walked over to Miroku, giving it to him. He opened it to find a can of pop, and a couple of cheap gas station playing cards. Kay and Michelle had taught them many games, like President and Asshole, Golf, Blackjack, and many more.

He thanked me and I dug in my bag once more and got a present for Kohaku. I gave it to him and he opened it up to find a regular old hat, and then some candy. I dug in my bag again and took out a ball for Kirara to play with, and she started to chew on it and swipe at it with her paws.

"That's it!" I said, smirking.

"What about me?" InuYasha asked.

"What about you?"

InuYasha growled and I gasped. "Oh! You want a gift? All right then, I'll give you a gift," I said, digging around in my bag. I stuck my head in it and grabbed a present in the very bottom of the bag and yanked it out. I gave it to InuYasha while saying, "Here you go, Yasha."

He opened it so fast that you didn't see the wrapping come off. Inside was a tennis ball and a bone.

"I didn't know what you would like, so I just got you stuff that dogs like in my world," I said, watching InuYasha as he started to chew on the bone and throw the ball back and forth to himself, right hand to left, left hand to right.

He looked like he was having fun and I sweatdropped. "Oh! I also got a book for you, Kaede," I said, walking over to her. "I got you a Japanese book on herbs and spices, and I also got you some herbs from my country.

"I thank ye, child," Kaede said, nodding to me and opening the nice book. I took one more thing from my bag and set it on InuYasha's head. It was a Santa hat, red and white.

"What the hell is this!" InuYasha asked, looking at the hat discustedly.

"It's called a _hat_, Yasha. It goes on your _head_," I said, smirking.

Everyone started talking and such, and I sat back, taking out a notepad and sketching the scene before me. Michelle reading her book, InuYasha resisting the urge to tear the Santa hat to pieces, Miroku teasing Sango, Kohaku playing with Kirara and Shippo, Kagome doing her homework and Kaede watching the whole scene while examining the North American herbs.

I smirked and got some mistletoe from my bag and hug it above the door and wrote in Japanese, "A couple who stands under the mistletoe must kiss!"

- - -

Michelle and I went outside to play after everyone was done looking at their strange gifts, and we showed Shippo and Kohaku how to make snow angels in the snow that had fallen on the village. Michelle and I were very surprised to see the snow, not because it was winter, but because of our location. We shrugged it off and showed them the true way to make snow angels. It helps when you live in one of the coldest states in North America.

Michelle finished hers and I walked over to it and knelt down. I drew two devil horns in the snow and laughed, and Michelle laughed too. "Perfect!" she said, pushing me a little so I lost my footing for a second.

I saw Kagome and InuYasha walking out of the hut at the same time and then stopped them before they were completely outside. I looked at them and then pointed to the sign that I made.

"What!" Kagome and InuYasha said at once.

"It's true," Michelle said as she walked up next to me.

"You gotta kiss! We won't let you pass unless you do!" I said, standing in front of the door. Kagome blushed and looked at InuYasha carefully. He looked back at Kagome and blushed too, and they looked at each other. Michelle and I went behind each of them, her behind Kagome and me behind Yasha, and we pushed them at the same time, making them have a very sloppy kiss.

Michelle and I broke down laughing, and amazingly we were able to run from InuYasha, who was about to slaughter us with his Tetsusaiga. I think he could use some people skills.


	2. Unexpected Confessions

**Unexpected Confessions**

"Shut up, bitch!" Michelle yelled at me. We had started fighting about some stupid thing, that I can't even remember now, but I'm wasn't going to let her win this fight... Well, now it wasn't really a fight anymore. Now it was more of a full-blown war!

"Make me!" I yelled back at her, pushing her a little.

"You are such a loser that Michael Jackson wouldn't touch you!" Michelle insulted. Ouch. That one hurt.

"I'm sick and tired of your pompus attitude, and I think you should learn some manners! Maybe InuYasha can teach you some! He's got better ones than you!" I yelled at her. I'm not as good as the insulting thing, but I can dish out pretty good ones once in a while.

By now the rest of the group had lined up, watching the fight with interested stares. Shippo blinked at the volume of our voices, Kirara watched, wondering what they were fighting about, Miroku, Sango, Kohaku and Charlie all had numerous sweatdrops on their heads, and InuYasha was asking Kagome who Michael Jackson was.

"Your manners aren't much better, swapping spit with Sesshomaru!" Michelle yelled.

"I didn't kiss him! He kissed me! And that's not nearly as bad as kissing Kouga!" I yelled, defending my pride. Though we were both blushing as red as a fire truck, we were still flaming mad.

Then it felt like everything slowed down and Michelle and I slowly looked to our left. There was the whole group there, their mouths wide open in shock. Every single one of them were taking a couple glances to InuYasha, maybe only one glance, but that's all they needed to see what he was going to do next.

"YOU WHAT!" InuYasha yelled, scaring away any birds who weren't scared away from Michelle and my yelling.

"Shall we run for it?" Michelle asked, her face slowly growing pale from the angry look on InuYasha's face.

"Yes, let's," I said before turning and running as fast as my legs would carry me. Michelle and I looked behind us to see InuYasha chasing after us like mad, and we started screaming and running faster.

We would laugh about this in a couple years, but for now I think we need to tend to our bruises.

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That one was a bit shorter, but that's all right because the third and final fanfic of the series is finally started and almost ready to be put up! Maybe I should put up another fanfic inbetween… NAW! 


End file.
